The Z Zone

Preview of my latest project

2009-02-23T00:23:00.001-08:00

The Terror from Above and Below

2008-11-16T01:50:00.000-08:00

This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I heard I'd be taking my first flight to Hawaii, thought Thomas Fiddel. He had departed from LAX at around midnight, and it was now around 1 AM. He wasn't quite sure if he'd passed over a timezone or not yet, although he must be pretty close. The only things he was overly aware of relative to the situation was that he was tired, and it was dark. He hadn't even touched his coffee, he hated the airline shit they tried to give him.

When he was younger, Thomas always had a fascination with aircraft. Well, he had a fascination with travel, and like most people, was curious just how the hell something that heavy could stay up in the air, but other than that, he wasn't much interested in airplanes. Still though, there was something alluring about being an international pilot for a major airline. He'd get to see the world, meet all sorts of interesting passengers, hell, he might even find out how these things stay up in the air.

At least that's the impression the brochure gave him. The truth of the situation was that he had to keep a big, heavy chunk of metal up in the air while dozens of businessmen and tourists in the room behind him vomited into little bags, or chattered obnoxiously in either strange foreign tongues or, worse, English. If they were only speaking foreign languages, at least he could pretend they were having an interesting conversation about far away lands that he'd really only seen through the plane's cockpit window, or whatever scraps of culture showed up in the airport terminal. But when they spoke English, all he would hear about is what happened on that new popular soap opera or reality show, or how much a given businessman holds contempt for his family. It was starting to get to him.

He fiddled with the yoke absentmindedly, waiting impatiently to see land, to see city lights, or great mountains and volcanoes, waiting to see ANYTHING beyond the flat, depressing, blue ocean that was the only thing he'd seen for at least an hour, save for the cockpit control panels and an occasional stewardess.

He'd only been at the job less than a month, but it was already starting to get to him. Putting up with all the obnoxious people day in and day out, having his biological clock interrupted on an hourly basis, and the only world-traveling he ever did was some miles above the landmarks he longed to see from the ground, up close. He didn't see it as just, he didn't want to put up with all this shit.

“Hey miss, can you please warm this coffee up for me?” He asked a stewardess coming in to see if he needed anything. He didn't like the coffee, and he avoided drinking it, but he needed something before he crashed, and it was better than nothing. “Right away, sir.” She gave a tiny bow and scurried out of the room with the little plastic thermos in hand.

About a minute later, he heard some shouting in the passenger cabin, and what sounded like most of the passengers screaming bloody murder. Jesus, what's going on NOW, Tom thought. Suddenly, the door to the cockpit burst open and a man wielding a 9mm handgun stumbled in over the fallen door, shouting for Thomas to get up. He did as instructed, and then walked back into the passenger cabin with his hands over his head, as he was instructed to do at gunpoint.

“Alright people, remain calm. If we do what the men say, we'll get out of this unharmed.” Said the stewardess, shivering at the gun barrel lodged into her lower back, the short man holding it squeezed tight up against her from behind. Damn, a hijacking, Thomas mused. This was exciting, sure, but compared to something this extreme, the tedium of being an airline pilot was the most fun thing on the planet. He felt a pang of guilt at constantly complaining about his boring job.

Just then, the passengers screamed again. But something was weird about this scream; only the passengers on the left side of the cabin screamed. Thomas dared to lean over from the back of the cabin, where he was forced to stand, and look out of the window, where the screaming passenger's eyes seemed to be glued.

What he saw was some sort of black outline, something tall and cone-shaped. A skyscraper? No, that's not right, they were hundreds of miles away from the nearest city. Another plane? No, planes don't usually extend for several miles out of the ocean.

Suddenly, the structure moved, beginning a hurtling descent onto the water's surface. It dawned on Thomas that this thing was not man-made at all. It was the limb of some sort of creature, a giant tentacle, complete with suction cups and sand and scum from the ocean floor. “Jesus Christ!” Thomas shouted, reeling back to the cabin wall, slumping to the floor in sheer terror. Several passengers lost their dinners at the sight, most of them not reaching for the sick bags and dirtying the upholstery of the seats and the floors.

Thomas' mind and heart both raced faster than light speed. What the fuck was that thing? Just a hallucination? Did I mistake it for something else, something more logical and familiar?

Before he could start formulating a theory for what the thing he saw really was, the plane suddenly whipped around 180 degrees, spilling a few stray passengers into the aisle, and knocking over anyone who was standing. Thomas took this momentary distraction to overthrow one of the terrorists and take his gun. He barreled forward and tackled the short man, still on his knees and attempting to pull himself up. He reached down and swiped the man's gun from the floor. He pistol-whipped the man's head a few times, until he was sure he was at least unconscious, then quickly made his way up to the cockpit.

It wasn't exactly a pretty sight; when the plane was flipped around, he must have gotten motion sickness and puked all over the floor, because the ground was slippery with half-digested bits of what looked like what you'd find in an average BLT. While he was hurling the contents of his sandwich onto the floor, he must not have seen the fire extinguisher he was rapidly leaning towards, because he fell into the metal canister and split his skull open, killing him painfully and slowly. Even now he was still twitching around like a little mouses' nose, stirring up the puddle of drying sick and blood and brains he was lying face-down in.

Trying to ignore the mess (and pausing once, briefly, to vomit), Thomas crawled over to the controls and attempted to take control of the plane and escape whatever it was out there swinging at the plane like it was the goddamn World Series.

He yanked the yoke to the right and up, to get out of reach of the tentacle. The plane bumped and started losing altitude. Thomas guessed the tentacle brushed the bottom of the plane. He tried to counter the force of being smacked down into the ocean, and for all intents and purposes succeeded, although he was flying at a lower altitude than ever.

Behind him, a stewardess let out a blood-curdling scream, falling over and rolling around in the aisle, still screaming and flailing around. For a moment, Thomas thought she had lost her mind; he looked over and saw her wrestling with what looked like a giant fleshy crab, all six pointed legs trying to rip off the flight attendant's face.

He ran back into the passenger cabin and saw nothing but chaos; the passengers screaming, four dead bodies on the floor (one of the short terrorist, one of the stewardess he had at gunpoint, and two more who died from the shrapnel of a burst window, through which the crab thing must have gained access), and the stewardess, still wrestling the beast off of herself, large chunks of flesh missing from her arms and face, clothes ripped to shreds. He took the handgun he had previously tucked into his waistband and fired a few shots into the crab, at an angle so as to avoid harming the stewardess. The crab slumped over onto the woman's face, one of it's claws half-dug into a gaping wound in her head. It wasn't all too clear whether she was dead or didn't have the energy to scream, but Thomas wasn't worried about that right now. He had to get everyone to safety, right this minute.

He dashed into the cockpit and fiddled with the radio, trying to send out an emergency broadcast. No good, the equipment was destroyed when the terrorist's corpse slammed into it. Shit, he thought, how the fuck are we getting out of this?

He heard a deafening crunch behind him, and jerked his head back out the cockpit door again. The tentacle had ripped off the left side of the plane, and swatted at a few of the passengers, knocking several of them out and slamming a few of them into the opposite side of the cabin. The plane jerked to the left and dumped several passengers out into the water, splashing the tentacle with bloody seawater and miscellaneous personal items, such as cell phones and shreds of clothes.

Thomas threw himself onto the yoke and flung the plane into a level position, immediately regretting it, because the bodily fluids on the floor came up to splash him in the face and stain the windshield. He retched once, then composed himself and started trying to fly upwards again, but something was wrong. Something was holding him back. He peered out of the cockpit and looked out of the gaping hole in the side, noting the blood stains and chunks of flesh arranged around the sharp edges of the gash. He made a mental note to throw up when he had the time.

The tentacle had wrapped itself around the circumference of the plane, and was squeezing tightly, attempting to break the plane in half just behind the wing. The plane was not actually moving of it's own volition anymore; the tentacle was swinging it wildly back and forth, giving the appearance of movement. The hull of the plane creaked under the weight of the pressure exerted by the mighty creature, and threatened to snap any second. The roof and floor of the cabin were already starting to warp inwards. Thomas had to do something. Fast.

He stepped forward and grabbed onto the luggage rack to stabilize himself, and went for his gun. He aimed right at the tentacle and prepared to empty the clip right into it's blubbery exterior.

“Wait...what's that?” Thomas had noticed something. It was dark, and he could still really only make out a vague outline of the tentacle, but there was movement on it. Something was moving more than the tentacle itself. Little crab-like things scurrying around, all gathering around the tentacle where the hole in the side of the plane was located.

All at once, several dozen legs retracted and contracted, plunging into the hole willy-nilly, attaching themselves to the nearest humans, tearing bits of skin and muscle tissue off, shoving it into little organic tubes that Thomas guessed were their mouths. One of them jumped in Thomas' direction, and he fired what was left of the clip loaded into the handgun (three rounds) into the crab's tube, sending it flying back out through the hole, smacking against the side of another crab coming to join the feast.

Thomas fell with a thud on top of a crab someone had managed to kill with his bare hands, before succumbing to it's frenzy at last, and did a backwards crawl back into the cockpit. The walls of the passenger cabin were bending inwards almost a foot by now, coming to breaking point. It was going to be over in seconds.

Several things happened all at once. The back half of the airplane snapped off, leaving a little inward curl of metal in the half containing the cockpit, and the rest of the passengers in the other half. (In fact, one passenger remained in the other half, who had screamed to Thomas “Hell of a story to tell up in Heaven, eh? We died getting eaten by some sort of alien!” He was not sure Thomas had heard him, but through his own insanity, he still managed to amuse himself.) The plane began skimming the top of the water, slowing ever-so-slightly, but not stopping or altogether sinking. A squadron of fighter jets zoomed overhead, firing little dots of smoking light in the general direction of the chaos seen from outside the back of the cockpit half of the plane. The creature attached to the tentacle gave out a soul-crushing roar, lifting it's head above the water and howling in rage.

The creature's face was of an indescribable and Lovecraftian quality. It rather looks like a cross between an octopus and an old man's face, comported over a watermelon, with tentacles sticking out of the back, and a neck composed of several strands of membrane. Thomas pondered the horrifying beast's biology for a moment, before realizing how grotesque it looked and making good on his promise to himself to vomit later.

The creature's tentacle (the one that was holding the other half of the plane) swung around viciously, spilling human and crab corpses out of the windows and the gaping hole in it's front, dribbling into the monster's screaming maw, swallowed whole.

The jets circled around and fired a few stray rockets into the creature's mouth, unhinging it's jaw and forcing it to slam the plane piece into it's own face, again howling in pain. Another tentacle flopped up out of the water with a mighty crash, washing away the only other survivor of the disaster besides Thomas, and finally forcing the plane to sink at last.

This is it, Thomas realized, this is how I'm going to die. Then, a third tentacle came up and smacked the cockpit up into the air, hurling Thomas into the windshield and cracking it. The plane flew what must have been 200 feet into the air, and then it began falling back to the water, killing Thomas at last.

The windshield cracked open finally, and spilled Thomas and some loose bits of the control panel out into the open, forcing Thomas to scream louder than he ever has in his life.

The monster's head moved into the path of the plummeting debris, and the last thing Thomas saw was an eye composed of thousands of little eyes, staring up at him, waiting for the chaos to end, to die at last.

It was the biggest justice could be done to him, to die finally, after all he lived through.

There was a wet splat, a mighty roar in the distance, the sound of screaming jets blazing around at thousands of miles per hour, perhaps on another world, and then being swatted from the sky by a mighty limb composed of blubbery flesh and parasites and spiny bones, and then it was all light and darkness.

The chaos was over, but there were no happy endings.

Speechless

2008-10-22T15:12:00.000-07:00

I'm going to keep this short, as I can feel the vomit rising in my throat, but I just want to make a sort of public service announcement:

NEVER, and I mean NEVER, even out of the most morbid curiosity, read Spongebob slash fiction.

Ever.

My very first poem:

2008-09-20T21:02:00.001-07:00

Poems suck,
What the fuck.
All those emo kids,
making gay-ass bids
on whether fags will like their crappy poems.
Can't stand the sobbing,
the vein in my head is throbbing,
and I just had an aneurism.

Luckiest man on Entler, part 5

2008-08-26T14:01:00.001-07:00

The Tremoyen are a race that thrives in the unfavorable climate on Entler; they're a large, but diverse, tribal race that tunnels into mountainsides and takes refuge in cave systems. The tribes themselves number in the dozens on averaqge, and are seperated out the entire planet of Entler. Of the few things that are known about them, one thing is for sure:

They don't like strangers.

When exposed to an alien environment, it's not uncommon for a human to panic; they are very stressful creatures, and they tend to react poorly to new and dangerous situations. If ever there was a man panicking in a strange environment, it was Jeremy (something). He was beginning to think he was losing his mind, but it was rather hard to tell. It all SEEMED to be happening, at least.

“You see, the colonists wish to use this planet as a residential planet, but we all know how wasteful and harsh to the environmeny they are...” Even as Rylch'k (or Eustice, he wasn't sure how to address her) was telling him all this, he couldn't help but run a thought over in his head, and this thought blocked out all others: “Where the hell am I?”

But that would have to wait, there was a much more pressing matter at hand: the fact that he could barely walk, on account of his broken leg. "Excuse me, but my leg is really in need of some goddamn attention." She looked him over, and her eyes locked onto his right leg for a few moments. "Ah yes," she said at last, "I'll have to have a look at th-" and that is when Jeremy stopped listening, for he had passed out.

Brief Interlude

2008-08-20T17:20:00.000-07:00

Slight case of writer's block, so chapter 5 of the Entler saga might take a little while. In the meantime, I got a major part of my new computer desk together!

These shelves are going to go under the desk, and I'll put books and CDs and the like under the desk. I just finished staining them today, but tomorrow is a coat of Polyurethane. It's a fairly large load of work, but it's already looking great.And a quick detail shot:

So stay tuned for chapter 5 of Entler, SOMETIME this week, hopefully.

Luckiest man on Entler, part 4

2008-08-12T17:29:00.001-07:00

Sitting in a corner of the cramped little room he was in, Jeremy still wanted to sob hysterically, but he knew that whoever that voice belonged to was on it's way to get him, and lord knows what it wanted with him.

The planet Entler in the Astren system is a barren desert world covered fully in clouds all of the time, with very little water anywhere to be found (though enough to support life). The atmosphere, however, is breathable by humans with no environmental alteration or use of life-support, making it a prime candidate for colonization. Currently, there have been 12 colonization attempts on Entler.

None have succeeded.

The Astren system itself isn't much to speak of; two gas giants, each orbited by three moons, orbit the sun. Their names are Y'ltar and Jupitus, and Entler is technically the moon of Jupitus. At night, the gas giant is quite visible, and it's a shame that Jeremy missed the view, for he was sleeping, being watched by an odd creature who believed that he could help his people.

When the door opened, Jeremy stood up and promptly fell back down, when he saw what was walking into the cell: a tall woman, brown-haired and wearing some sort of flak jacket over a worn military uniform, with black combat boots and holding an assault rifle in her elegant hands. There was a device around her neck, which looked like a dog collar, only with a small box attached to the front of it. As the woman's mouth moved, the words did not seem to be hers. In fact, they sounded rather robotic. She said "Pleasure to meet you, I am known as Rylch'k on this world, but my former name is Eustice."

Luckiest man on Entler, part 3

2008-08-09T01:26:00.000-07:00

When he arrived in the cavern, he didn't quite know what to make of what he was seeing; there were what seemed to be dwellings carved into the walls, and there were stairs made of stone, and a waterfall leading into a hole who knows who deep on one end of the massive inhabited area of this gigantic cavern. There were creatures in doorways, and by the waterfall, and walking towards the group that was carrying Jeremy in their claws.

What gave the cavern light was anyone's guess; there were many things on the walls and the ceilings that could bring the gentle glow that was omnipresent in the large grotto, deep underneath the surface of Entler.

“Just my luck,” Jeremy thought to himself, as he was dragged into a small room, about 7 feet wide, but over twice his own height. There they left him, closing a stone door behind them when they exited the room. Above him, Jeremy saw a small hole in the wall, but he could not see inside of it. He wanted very much to crawl into the corner and sob himself into a coma, but he knew he had to be a little more alert than that to survive this. Just when he was starting to succumb to his own desire to break down, a deep, booming voice echoed through the small room, shocking Jeremy to his feet and against the far wall.

“Do you have any idea why you are here?” It asked nonchalantly, but with a certain tone of authority. Jeremy did not respond, for he was too shocked to even open his mouth. “I repeat, do you have any idea why you are here?” “N-no.” Jeremy managed to croak out.

The voice spoke again: “I wish to find out if you would be of use to us.” “What do you want me for?” Jeremy inquired, rather terrified. “The fact that you are even asking tells me you may be what I need right now. I will be right down to retrieve you.”

Luckiest man on Entler, part 2

2008-08-08T19:39:00.000-07:00

“Son of a bitch, it's a ghost town.” He cussed under his breath, lamenting that there wasn't a single man-made structure within sight; even after a day of searching, Jeremy didn't find so much as a candy wrapper, to show that any humans were here. It did, in fact, contain life, unbeknownst to Jeremy, but certainly not very many humans, and no human structures, or food, or anything else that could be considered human.

Stumbling through the thick mounds of gray sand that covered the planet of Entler, he found his way to a small curve in the landscape, a crater. He decided he could sleep there for the night, as he felt he didn't want to waste any more energy than he had to. Whoever left him on this planet, they had been thoughtful enough to leave him a backpack filled with bottles of water and candy bars and a knife, in case he were to find a beast who wanted him for lunch, or a beast that HE wanted for lunch. He did not care to know which.

As Jeremy slept under the cold, gray clouds, something approached him. Something rather hideous, covered in grayish-green scales, with beady yellow eyes, and only three legs to walk on, but also three arms and hands. This thing watched the sleeping human for some time, until it decided that the human could be put to good use, and he went to go tell the tribe about his discovery.

When Jeremy woke in the morning, there was not even enough time to scream when the group of beasts spirited him away into the cavern, where it was dark and cold and smelled of rotting corpses.

Luckiest man on Entler, part 1

2008-08-08T15:42:00.000-07:00

Grey skies and gray lands. A personal hell. “How the hell did I end up here?” The man thinks. “I didn't do shit, and now I'm here. How the HELL did I end up here?”

Jeremy Roderick never did have good luck. Even as a child, all the bigger kids would push him about or steal something of his. And as an older child, none of the girls seemed the least bit interested in him. And now, in his late 30's, he was stuck on this god forsaken rock in the middle of an unknown system, and he knew that his luck had not changed.

He was on the planet of Entler in the Astren system, although he did not know these names, nor where he might locate those in relation to New Earth. All he knew was the atmosphere was breathable, and that alone was enough for now.

How he got there was a little mysterious to him; one moment, he is in a bar, trying to find a job: smuggling, bounty hunting, whatever he could get in a seedy bar on the edge of his sanity, otherwise known as New Earth; and the next moment, he wakes up, his leg broken, on the most barren planet for many light-years. No, his luck had indeed not changed.

Picking himself up and dusting off his clothes, he angrily mutters, "Well, I guess I better check for signs of a station, or a way off of this shithole."

Letting you all know I'm still alive

2008-08-08T15:14:00.000-07:00

I haven't had particularly much to blog about lately, actually. Pretty soon I'll be taking an overnight trip for my dad's eye surgery (cataract surgery), so I might post from the hotel just for fun.

I've been reading a LOT lately. I just read Neil Gaiman's Stardust, and I'm reading through Michael Crichton's Andromeda Strain, and once I'm through THAT, I'll be reading Arthur C. Clarke's Rendezvous with Rama. That is a LOT of reading for me.

It was my birthday just this past July 29th, and I got exactly what I wanted: a laptop, an EEE PC. It's really, really nice, but I just can't deal with the cheesy Linux distro it comes with, so I'll be installing an nLited version of Windows XP as soon as I can.

Other than that, I can't think of much to write, so I'll just be on my merry way until I can think of something.

Ay-Arr-Jee

2008-07-06T04:08:00.001-07:00

I'm working on something I've wanted to do for a while, but never really had the time or attention span to compile it all together; I have started an alternate reality game. For those unfamiliar with those, it's a little like roleplaying, like Dungeons and Dragons, only a bit different. The premise is, a group of "players" try to solve different puzzles and challenges put forth by the "puppetmaster", the guy controlling the story, in an attempt to discover what is at the heart of the game's plot. (At least this is what mine is going to be about.)

I can't reveal any information on the game, but the first clue will be located here. Good luck!

Yootoobz

2008-06-24T21:55:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I started a Youtube channel, and I just wanted to share it so everyone can have a look at it. I'll probably be "vlogging" more, too, so be sure to check there often.

Linkzorz.

2008-05-19T15:02:00.000-07:00

I saw this picture of my sister's pet rabbit, Sophie, in my pictures folder and couldn't resist.

Favorite links meme

2008-04-22T11:03:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I've been tagged by SME, so I guess I should get this over with:

AnywhereBB: The greatest forum community I've ever seen, hands down.

Slashdot: I'm sure nobody's surprised I read the geek news.

XKCD: Geekiest webcomic out there. (There's a LOT of people who won't get it, either.)

Computer Stupidities: The funniest website on the internet, hands down! All about idiots trying to work with computers, and the poor bastards who have to help them.

4chan: I think I'm breaking rule number one of the internet just by posting this, but whatever. It's hard to explain why I like it, but it might be the dark sense of humor a lot of members have, especially on /b/ (Random.)

So that concludes my "Favorite links meme."

Youtube comments

2008-04-01T01:19:00.000-07:00

Comments on Youtube are just too ridiculous not to laugh at. If the commenter in question is trying to be serious, he tends not to get his point across; or if, on the other hand, the commenter is trying to make a joke, it tends to be either stale and unfunny or spiteful and tasteless. Of course, there is an even worse third category: Utter nonsense. Take this actual comment, for example:

"we goona highway to hell... and nobody can do something^^

what is wrong with me, us all here... i don' know... cup with me i have holyday!!"

Everyone I know swears he used Babelfish, but it's hard to say, considering the decline in the quality of grammar, sentence structure and spelling in the past decade, especially in younger people. This particular comment was found on a video about the aftermath of the Columbine Highschool Massacre, and judging from the content of the message, I believe he is trying to this:

"What is wrong with humanity? We're all going to hell, and nobody can do anything. ^^

What's wrong with all of us? 'Sup! I'm on holiday!"

This man obviously does not know when it's appropriate to use cheerfulness or morbidity, but that can also be chocked up to my poor job at "translation." So, I've said what I wanted to say about that for now.

As a closing note, I want to show you what happens if I translate my interpretation of the commenter's message from Japanese back into English in Babelfish:

"Somewhere humanity is not strange, is? We are everything which has done to the hell and who somewhere our everything which cannot do with ^^ necessarily is not strange, is? ' Sip! As for me there is a holiday!"

We are everything which has done to the hell and who somewhere our everything which cannot do with, indeed.

Quick review: V for Vendetta (The movie)

2008-03-29T23:07:00.000-07:00

I verily enjoyed this vigorous romp through the film V for Vendetta. I very much felt the movie was vatic of the uncertain times that we, as the vulgus, should take as food for thought. "V" (a contemporary vision of Guy Fawkes, the man who was volensed to the Gunpowder Plot) is a character with a voracious appetite for violent overthrow of a totalitarian regime vendicating England for the purpose of vastiditly collecting sums of currency. Along the way, he velociously dispatches a volley of foes, and falls in love with a young woman who yearns for more than she is experiencing in her life. (DAMMIT! I messed up, hardly any V words there.)

Bottom line: Good action movie which touches on some rather "shady" political ideals.

I apologize for the voluble verbigeration of V words in this review, but I am...a smartass.

Scientology petitions

2008-02-10T12:49:00.000-08:00

Quick post, just want to put some petitions here, so they get signed. PLEASE SIGN!

Petition to make the CoS a cult.
Petition to disband the CoS.

Project Chanology

2008-02-01T12:28:00.000-08:00

Because I do not want to take a biased stance here, I'll let it speak for itself.

http://chanology.cjb.net/

Trench coat:

2007-12-26T18:07:00.000-08:00

I haz it. TELL me that doesn't look awesome.

Report:

2007-12-17T11:16:00.000-08:00

Finished Lurker at the Treshhold. It's about like the other Mythos: Strange and slow-paced, up until the last few pages. But it was good enough.

Trying to make it through A Brief History of Time, but I refuse to understand "curved space" for some reason.

Also tackling Free culture, which I read when I can't comprehend Brief History.

Saw the last Pirates of the Caribbean. Depressing ending.

I feel almost superior to other kids my age. They're too stupid. I suddenly know what it's like to be a Thoughtcriminal...

Hmm, what else? I can't think of anything, so I'll wish everybody a Merry Christmas! Or whatever you happen to celebrate, but I'm not going to take the PC route and post it here.

Popcorn time: Zero Day

2007-12-11T14:50:00.000-08:00

Drawing from 1999's "Columbine Massacre" in Littleton, Colorado, this little-known film from independent director Ben Coccio (also little-known) is easily one of the most disturbing movies you will ever see. So now it's time for me to start singing it's praise.

First, a little history: The screenplay (what there is it, because 75% of the film is intentionally ad-libbed) was written shortly after said Columbine Massacre. Filming came shortly afterward. But in the middle of production, the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001 struck America, and the movie was delayed. After a 2 year gap, the movie debuted at as many independent film festivals as it could get entry to. Despite poor reviews due to controversy, the film has managed to get a following and attract positive reviews and even awards.

Now, on to my review. This movie is creepy. I don't mean "EEK! Something jumped out at me!" creepy, or Hitchcock-esque suspense tactics, this movie is genuinely disturbing. The film follows 2 teenage boys who claim themselves "The Army of Two". They have a methodically detailed plan to assault the students and staff of their high-school. The movie follows their video diaries of their planning and their thoughts on what is to come and what they've already done, leading up to the inevitable horrifying climax. (No spoilers!)

First off, the movie is filmed almost entirely in cheap home-video, and all the actors in the film are, indeed, not professional actors. This was mostly intentional, in order to add a flair of realism to what is already shockingly accurate. That being said, I felt as thought I really were following the main characters, Cal and Andre, around in their many escapades, such as egging the captain of the wrestling team's house, or Cal going to the prom with a group of people he obviously did not feel comfortable with. You are forced to see the human side of a couple of youngsters who are obviously not entirely well.

Some of the scenes in the movie really grab you, and send massive chills up your spine. Listening to Cal's musings (Such as his telling his little cousin/nephew/whatever what it would be like if the world was ruled by old people, and they all hit you with canes, or when he used garbled analogies to express his excitement about the shooting.) or getting a glimpse of Andre's temper (Such as when he was angry with Cal for doing something against his wishes, sending him into a screaming, fist-pounding fit of rage.) really give you a feel for how detached these children seem from reality, seeking revenge for what would seem to some normal teen behaviour and the way the world works.

Some lines in the movie leave you wondering what you should think of Cal and Andre's psyches, such as one of my favorite lines from near the end of the movie, which is almost an homage to the Quentin Tarantino cult-classic Pulp-fiction. ("Ok, is it 1.2.3 go, or 1.2 go? Do I go on 4 or 3?" "4. Everybody goes on 4.")

The end of this psychological thrill-ride (heh) is one of the most bitter endings I've seen in any film. The last shot in the movie will have you wishing things would have turned out differently, but realize that the message of the movie wasn't to understand how this happened (such as what would have happened if the school had tighter security), but rather what would force a couple of kids to want to do such a thing. The movie does not attempt to make any sort of valid, specific point as to answering this question, but instead chooses to study the goings-on of a couple of teens wanting to even the score in an environment they see as turned against them.

If you have a chance, I urge you to watch this movie. This could very well be the most important film ever to come out of post-Columbine society. The DVD seems to be overpriced everywhere, but it might be worth it to support a decent independent filmmaker. If that's not enough to sway your opinion, let me leave you with this: It's only 1 and a half hours long (Not a huge bite out of your life.), and if you don't watch it, I'll kidnap you and make you watch it.

Reporting in!

2007-12-06T15:07:00.000-08:00

About 30 pages in to Lurker at the Threshold, and I can honestly say I don't know why this is a book instead of a short-story. Why deviate from that long held Mythos tradition?

I also heard there's going to be an independent film based on the classic Lovecraft story The Shadow over Innsmouth. But they will be using the themes of the movie to push their agenda, which is...wait for it...how homosexuality is looked down upon in society. Somehow, I don't think fish-people and The esoteric order of Dagon really represent gays.

Gearing up to start watching more anime in my free time. I'm now keeping a list of all the series/movies I've watched, and it's looking rather sad so far.

Also, I want a trench coat. Maybe it's that I watched The Matrix one too many times, but I don't really care. I think I'd look cool, so PPHHBBTT.

This post is to draw people to my blog via search engines:

2007-12-02T10:10:00.001-08:00

Ass porn free sex slut anime pix pics wallpaper windows linux cars 9/11 virus anti-virus google missingno pokemon pokeman digimon weather school gun shit piss pee hate love myspace facebook emo goth BDSM S&M SNM pictures desktop build how-to how to sports scores fox news GNU (If you can think of something I forgot, please tell me.)

Shut up, leave me alone, and WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!

2007-12-01T12:39:00.000-08:00

I have not had enough time to resume my studying (computers), because PEOPLE I DON'T EVEN KNOW ARE WASTING MY TIME! It's like I stepped into a REALLY bad season of Degrassi, and it must stop.

Also, maybe I like being an aspiring hacker, and don't want to go build a snow man, or have a snowball fight with myself. Call me strange, but that sounds rather unappealing.

Now, on to my winter reading list:

1. Free Culture: The Nature and Future of Creativity - Lawrence Lessig
2. A Brief History of Time - Steven Hawking
3. The Lurker at the Treshhold - August Derleth/ H.P Lovecraft
4. The Difference Engine - William Gibson and Bruce Sterling
5. Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince

Of course, I know someone who would say "u sholdnt red so much, go ot n ply ur a kid". And people wonder why I have so little faith in humanity. Please try to encourage intellectualism and "book-learning", because we're doomed to continue on as savages if we go on this way.

On a brighter note, POKEMAN!

Hacked

2007-11-29T17:47:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry...

2007-11-25T09:10:00.000-08:00

This was too cool not to put up:

moar funny pictures

What...the...fu-

2007-11-24T19:35:00.000-08:00

I have no idea what's been happening. Strange girls keep popping up out of the woodwork to greet me, and I have to go through the pain of talking to these weirdos, and then another one shows up! I think it's a sign from God, but I really don't know how to interpret this one, gimme a hint. :P

It certainly is.

2007-11-23T17:56:00.000-08:00

If anybody gets the joke, please fill me in. (Found on 4chan, /b/)

Only in Japan:

2007-11-18T07:29:00.000-08:00

I don't know what the bloody hell this is, much less if it's cool that I post it here. Found at www.lolwut.com (Which I suspect is merely a dump of pictures from 4chan.)

If anybody knows Kanji, I'd appreciate the help. (I think it's Kanji, it's too squiggly to be Katakana. :P)

5P34K 1337?

2007-11-13T02:09:00.000-08:00

45 1 4M D3M0N57R471N9 H3R3, 1337 5P34K 15 N07 F0R 7H3 F41N7 0F H34RT.

J00 H4\/3 B33N W4RN3D, D0 N07 A773M7 70 5P34K 1337 UN1355 Y0U KN0\/\/ Y0|_| C4N H4ND13 17.

M\/\/4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4!

LOLGermans

2007-11-02T16:29:00.000-07:00

NOTE: I made this one, but I needed a smaller pic and was too lazy to scale it down in The Gimp.

Many thanks to "Tacogeddon" for digging up the pictures! Many thanks to my morbid imagination for the caption ideas!

Also, I don't know how to scale down the pics, so cry me a river.

Amazing!

2007-07-17T13:10:00.000-07:00

I am currently working on a chatterbot named "Corby", and I made a breakthrough: it learned it's name. By that, I don't mean I taught it to read back "Corby" when I typed in "What is your name?" It learned its name. It can read back the name when I ask it to, no matter what I type. Fascinating!

I, Robot

2007-07-16T11:59:00.000-07:00

This past weekend, I have been delving into a type of program called a chatterbot. What it is is an Artificial Intelligence program that is trained to respond to key words that you teach it. Most of the time it goes well. For example: I am teaching one bot that it is intelligent, and it understands me! But sometimes, it doesn't go to well. For example: One bot I am not on "speaking terms" with, doesn't know what yes is. Isn't that unbelievable?! I will attempt to chart my progress with a few chosen bots on this blog. Stay tuned!

Go gays!

2007-06-23T13:10:00.000-07:00

Ok so it's gay pride weekend, and I couldn't be more pissed. I have nothing against homosexuality, in fact I'm a strong supporter of it, but this is my line. There is no such thing as straight pride weekend, so they don't deserve this bizarre treatment. The thing is people should fight as hard as they can for their culture. But they don't have a culture. They have sex with people of their own gender. This is not a culture, it is a lifestyle.

All I'm saying is, you don't need a weekend to march. March when you have to, and call it a day. Did they take away your right to marry? March. Did they try to smash up your homes? March! But you shouldn't have your own sort of bizarre culture where people must wear certain clothes, or talk in a thertain way. That's almost fascism. But then again, it is a good idea to set aside a day or two for your rights but this is out of hand. I saw a picture of a group of lesbians carrying a sign with some sort of title on it, with the anarchy symbol inset. What? What sort of statement are you trying to make? "We're here! We're queer! We're gonna riot in the streets and overturn all power so that we may rule the world!"

I think turning the gay lifestyle into a culture is only worsening things for them. It's becoming more of a cult than a sexual thing. I don't get it, I guess.

Tsk, Tsk, Tsk

2007-05-10T08:10:00.000-07:00

Injustice has dropped to a new low. Matt Boyd (of the most excellent webcomics MacHall and Three Panel Soul) got canned. He went out to get a gun (legally) then (according to Boyd himself, of course) spoke with a friend about it. Apparently, one of his coworkers declared to the management that they felt threatened, and unsafe. This all happened shortly after Virginia-Tech.
Supposedly, they offered him nice referrals. So then a couple of days later, the Department of Criminal Justice shows up at his door. The webcomics he (and Ian Mcconiville, Respectively) had done on this subject were considered a "Terroristic Threat". Needless to say, they investigated into it and found no evidence of foul play. But it's the principal of the thing. A man loses his job due to unfair circumstances, and then they spit on him.

As if that weren't enough, according to his rant on it, he received e-mails putting him down for using the VT Shooting to get his point across that it was an influence to his firing. This is how diseased our society is. We cannot rightfully admit what the problem is without someone shooting you down for "offending the victims families". The thing is, no one asked THEM what they think. They all assume that they're offended because that's the P.C. thing to do.

This reminds me of another tragedy (sort-of). When the new movie adaptation of J.R.R Tolkien's fantasy masterpiece "The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers" came to fruition, there were people complaining that the title of the film would "offend families of the victims of 9/11". And even if it would, it has NOTHING to do with 9/11, so take it for what it is. F*@#%?$G FICTION! You P.C.Holes are ruining the world! And do you know why they do this? It's called demotivization (or at least that's the point I'm preaching.). We're being dumbed down so that the government and these mega-corps don't have to put up with us. They're turning us into zombies so that they can rake in easy cash.

My point is, we're killing society by trying to better it. So GET OUT OF YOUR F***ING FANTASY WORLD AND GET A LIFE! IF YOU BELIEVE THE WORLD IS BETTER OFF POLITICALLY CORRECT, YOU NEED A SHOTGUN TO THE CRANIUM! STOP IT!

[P.S. I really hope I get nailed on terrorist charges for this, so that I can prove to society that we're all too soft. C**k munchers.]

Trying this post with Vista's speech recognition.

2007-04-18T10:13:00.000-07:00

I let's set so double the killer delete select all

Damnit!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IkeC7HpsHxo

Uh-huh...

2007-03-21T14:12:00.000-07:00

I've been getting a lot of spyware pop-ups lately, and this one is by far the best. Read the line that I circled. Sock. Sock? SOCK!? Why would I buy a single sock!? Oh, and also, "Not your mother's bathroom sink."? WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN!? "But now it's the norm." Yeah, well.......you're face. Idiots.

Error:Vista Sucks

2007-03-14T16:58:00.000-07:00

I'm so sick of all the magazines, and websites, and EVERY F***ING THING ELSE telling me HOW TO INSTALL WINDOWS VISTA!!!!!!!!!!11!!!11!21!21!!!!!! I mean, they're selling point is something like: "Windows Vista is so easy even this mentally retarded monkey can use it, and he doesn't have fingers! What? No monkey?! I'M BILL GATES!!! IF I WANT A GOD-DAMN MONKEY I BETTER-F***ING WELL HAVE IT! DO YOU KNOW HOW INSANELY RICH I AM?! I COULD BLOW UP THE MOON AND GET AWAY WITH IT! YOU CAN'T DEFY THAT SORT OF POWER! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!.............................................Anyway, have you seen Vista's amazing 3D accelerated GUI? It's so new and amazing, i'm suprised i didn't think of it myself..........WHO WROTE THAT ON THE GOD-DAMN CUE CARD! KILL HIM IMMEDIATLY! CAN'T KILL ANYO-I'M BILL GATES! I CAN KILL ANYONE I WANT!.........Okay, anyway. What about that speech recognition? I mean this technology has been around for at least 20 years. Where the hell was Windows then? OH, YOU OPEN-SOURCERS CAN BLOW ME! I'm going to go count my money. See you bastards when Windows X: The final evil comes out!"

Anyway, my point is, i'm not a complete idiot. Windows Vista is the easiest operating system to install ever! So I don't need some dumbass ruining my computer experience by treating me like a damn 3 year-old. In fact, that's what it's like being a teenager. "When I was your age, we were dumb. We got in all sorts of trouble. So i'm going to treat you like a baby so that you will thank me when your a grown-up" "But i'm more mature than that, plus I don't have any friends to act stupid with. Plus, what adult still say's 'Grown-up'?" "Well, um......Go clean up your room." And why does every generation have to put down the next? It's like a spiral of laziness. "I'm so lazy, i'm going to blame my children for the world's problems." This has been happening for decades, and I think it has to stop.

Anyway, i'm veering off-topic. The point is, i'm not a baby, I think I can handle Vista.

Blue Screen Of Death

2007-03-06T11:33:00.000-08:00

Hello World, and welcome to "C00k1NG 1IK3 4N 3v1L G3N1U5" Today on C143G, I'll show you you how to make a Screen-saver that looks like a BS... *Ahem* I mean, MS-Windows Blue Screen "Of Death".

Step 1. Right click on the desktop and click on the properties tab.

Step 2. Make sure you are under the Screen-saver tab, and that you are set to the marquee style SS. Then Click settings as Illustrated.

Step 3. Set the color of the backround to blue, set the text as the "error" you want, and set all other options as you see in this picture. Then click format text. This is where it gets tricky.

Step 4. As illustrated, set the font to courier, the font color to gray, and everything else should be set by default. (except the underlined text, but that's optional) Click OK. Then click OK on the next box (The Basic Settings box. Click apply. If you want to see your work, click "preview".

Step 5. Congraturations! You dug up an old relic from windows 3.1 and made a lame DOS joke! Enjoy!

Doo weee, ooo wooo.....

2007-02-16T13:50:00.000-08:00

Check it! Sweet, huh?

Website:http://asciipr0n.com/archive/0013/bonnie/craft/

?

2007-02-12T15:21:00.000-08:00

Someone called the great caltech rose bowl card prank a terrorist action. Whatever.

Gates is a dick

2007-02-06T10:10:00.000-08:00

Ok, first microsoft claimed open-source software was a threat to their organization, and now "Vista"'s (or as it was originally known, "longhorn" *up the ol' poop-chute*) liscence expressly forbids using it on a virtual machine. ---0 80 WHY NOT?! Jeez, these people.

Shudders

2007-01-16T12:35:00.000-08:00

I'd like to take this time to speak out against "Voodoo Feminism" as I believe this is the only term for it. Take this excerpte from the Wikipedia page under "Feminism":

"Modern feminist political activists commonly campaign on issues such as reproductive rights, including the right to safe, legal abortion, access to contraception and quality prenatal care, protection from violence within a domestic partnership, sexual harassment, street harassment, discrimination and rape, and rights to maternity leave, and equal pay. Many feminists today argue that feminism is a grass-roots movement that seeks to cross boundaries based on social class, race, culture and religion. They also argue that an effective feminist movement should be culturally specific and address issues relevant to the women of the society in question such as female genital cutting in Africa and the Middle East and the "glass ceiling" issue in developed economies. They also debate the extent to which certain societal issues such as rape, incest and mothering are universal. Themes explored in feminism include patriarchy, stereotyping, sexual objectification and oppression."

Ok, so you get raped and everyone has to pay? Heehee! Sorry. But seriously, it gets worse:

"English-speaking feminists are often proponents of what they consider to be non-sexist language, using "Ms." to refer to both married and unmarried women, or "he or she" (or other gender-neutral pronouns) in place of "he" where the gender is unknown. Feminists are also often proponents of using gender-inclusive language, such as "humanity" instead of "mankind". Feminists in most cases advance their desired use of language either in the interest of equal and respectful treatment of women or in order to affect the tone of political discourse. These feminists argue that language directly affects perception of reality (compare Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis), and move to change language which may be viewed as imbued with sexism, for example the case in the English language in which the word for the general pronoun is "he" or "his" (The child should have his paper and pencils), which is the same as the masculine pronoun (The boy and his truck)."

So if you don't speak english, you're a F*cking sexist pig and should burn in the intense fires of hell!

You'll notice how none of this is about equal rights. Feminists want higher pay in the workplace. Fine! But don't say you want equal pay, and then complain! That's not fair! You're simply punishing men for your great-grandfather smacking your mother's ass, or some damn thing! Let it go! The sexual revolution is over. YOU WON! When you win, you don't expect more than the prize allotted, so why are you still fighting? Is it because you want more?

I don't care what any of you say, because Feminism isn't about a woman's right to kill an unborn child, or a woman's choice of religion, it's all about power and money.

So if you son't believe me, fine. Stone me, burn me at a stake, flame me. I don't care. I stand up for what I think is right, and this is so insanely wrong, I can't take it. "My father was a pig, so I want the full right to shove a telephone pole up each and every man's ass." And what do all the pussies of the world do? THEY LET THEM DO IT!!! WHY?!?!?!? Because you're afraid she'll sue you you for sexual descrimination? Who Cares!? You people disgust me, and may god have mercy on your soul when the day dawns that you shall pass.

Readers: Thank you!

Pussies: You suck for letting women go to far and ruin love, sex, and freedom forever. Fuck you.

Feminists: Stop whining that men make only as much as you, maybe not speak english, and possibly even discriminate against you, and be thankful that your elders were nice enough to make this world more accomidating for you. 'Cause it's a sick time when I can't even tell a woman she looks nice or that I want to go out with her without her getting all extremist on me because I'm a sexist. Thank you very much for ruining what was left of freedom and the beauty of love, forever. My middle finger has a special place in my heart for you.

I've had it!

2007-01-16T11:54:00.000-08:00

I Watched a video on YouTube today, where a guy claims that YouTube will change the world, and make everyone closer. I looked at the comments, and big surprise, I found a tidal-wave of foul language blasting this poor, intellegent guy. "this guys a fagot" Ok, first, learn how to spell "Faggot" you dumbass. Second, you're only saying that because you don't understand what he's talking about. Probably too many big words...

So, I have decided to attack internet stupidity. Not by flaming, that's letting them off too easy. I shall get people joined in this fight, and perhaps "reclaim" the net somehow. Wish me luck.

Happy Turkey Day!

2006-11-23T09:26:00.000-08:00

...Well, not for the turkey...

"The Idol O' Many Hands"

2006-11-20T12:04:00.000-08:00

Everybody is pressuring kids my age to have idols. Knowing todays youth, it's some corrupt sports star or some daemonic emo-tard, so I thought I'd post some of MY idols here. Enjoy:

John Carmack: The ULTIMATE in geek dreamers! The man was held responsible for many school shootings (most notably the Columbine Massacre; along with Marilyn Manson, respectively), and revolutionized the way video games are made and played. It's hard to go through my video game collection and not find a copy of DOOM floating around. Or Quake, DOOM 2, etc...

Bill Gates: Cliche, I know. But the man created THE standardised OS, and he knows how to take over the world. I mean taking over Bungie, and making Halo 2 PC a Vista exclusive. C'mon!

Tony Hawk: The guy's almost 50 and he's still boarding? F***! I can't believe that he has seen the entire history of skateboarding! From the start, back in good ol' (I use the phrase loosely) LA, to the emo-punk uprising, he's lived through it all. Plus he advocates safety; big plus.

Steve Jobs: "So bill, how was your weekend?" "Oh, you know, making people think your my sworn nemesis, so that we can launch an unexpected joint coup on the world" "Myes" "Indeed"

John Hargrave: The KING of dot-comedy. He's hosted late night tech-comedy shows, and he can certainly make a credit card company think twice about sending him a card. What? You've never heard of him? No matter! www.zug.com There ya go!

I got keys...

2006-10-19T19:45:00.000-07:00

...keys to what you might ask? A car? A lockbox? Ney. A computer. Let me explain: While working on my computer recently, it fried. BAM!, gone. And guess what my mom's solution was. Get my dad a new Alienware computer, and give me the old one.

I had to sit down.

An Alienware!? I felt dizzy. It was so cool! So today I gathered all my system disks, and...The coup-de-grad (is that how it's spelled)... the keys to the computers front lock. I can't describe how amazing they felt in my hands. I still don't believe it.

I'm going to cut this short, since I'm out of one-liners, euphamisms, and metaphors. Later.

"Codybag"

2006-10-04T14:22:00.001-07:00

My friend C and I are trying to start an internet craze. Use this as an insult. Spread it around.

Took me long enough...

2006-09-26T12:36:00.000-07:00

\/\/007! My new case is a reality!

Case! Case! Case!

2006-09-14T15:04:00.000-07:00

Guess what? My new computer case got here today! It even has a side fan and window!
Unfortunately, the front panel reminds me of Megatron. But it also has 2 front USB ports, so it doesn't matter. It looks so...empty! Cool!

http://sntcomic.livejournal.com/

2006-09-13T15:36:00.000-07:00

My new webcomic. 'Nuff said.

1337 h4x0r m4573r

2006-09-01T16:39:00.000-07:00

http://www.cs.berkeley.edu/~bh/hacker.html
This man is a genius. I am so tired of major news networks f***ing around with the term "Hacker". A Hacker is someone who makes computers his passion, who knows all about them. Please take this seriously. Even my own mother doesn't get it. She won't even listen to me about it.

Don't listen to CNN, or Fox News. They're out to boost they're ratings. All you know is lies. Have some god-damded respect for these people. If you don't understand, shut-up. If you don't want to know, shut-up.

Let's try a little roleplaying: Let's simulate life without hackers. Unplug your modem. Turn off your monitor. Walk away from the computer. They own the net. As I speak your among them. Hundreds. Thousands.

Learn from me. Pass this knowledge on. Don't be a f001.

The following was written shortly after my arrest...
\/\The Conscience of a Hacker/\/
by
+++The Mentor+++
Written on January 8, 1986=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Another one got caught today, it's all over the papers. "Teenager Arrested in Computer Crime Scandal", "Hacker Arrested after Bank Tampering"...
Damn kids. They're all alike.
But did you, in your three-piece psychology and 1950's technobrain, ever take a look behind the eyes of the hacker? Did you ever wonder what made him tick, what forces shaped him, what may have molded him?
I am a hacker, enter my world...
Mine is a world that begins with school... I'm smarter than most of the other kids, this crap they teach us bores me...
Damn underachiever. They're all alike.
I'm in junior high or high school. I've listened to teachers explain for the fifteenth time how to reduce a fraction. I understand it. "No, Ms. Smith, I didn't show my work. I did it in my head..."
Damn kid. Probably copied it. They're all alike.
I made a discovery today. I found a computer. Wait a second, this is cool. It does what I want it to. If it makes a mistake, it's because I screwed it up. Not because it doesn't like me...Or feels threatened by me...Or thinks I'm a smart ass...Or doesn't like teaching and shouldn't be here...
Damn kid. All he does is play games. They're all alike.
And then it happened... a door opened to a world... rushing through the phone line like heroin through an addict's veins, an electronic pulse is sent out, a refuge from the day-to-day incompetencies is sought... a board is found. "This is it... this is where I belong..."
I know everyone here... even if I've never met them, never talked to them, may never hear from them again... I know you all...
Damn kid. Tying up the phone line again. They're all alike...
You bet your ass we're all alike... we've been spoon-fed baby food at school when we hungered for steak... the bits of meat that you did let slip through were pre-chewed and tasteless. We've been dominated by sadists, or ignored by the apathetic. The few that had something to teach found us willing pupils, but those few are like drops of water in the desert.
This is our world now... the world of the electron and the switch, the beauty of the baud. We make use of a service already existing without paying for what could be dirt-cheap if it wasn't run by profiteering gluttons, and you call us criminals.We explore... and you call us criminals.We seek after knowledge... and you call us criminals.We exist without skin color, without nationality, withoutreligious bias... and you call us criminals.You build atomic bombs, you wage wars, you murder, cheat, and lie to us and try to make us believe it's for our own good, yet we're the criminals.
Yes, I am a criminal. My crime is that of curiosity. My crime is that of judging people by what they say and think, not what they look like. My crime is that of outsmarting you, something that you will never forgive me for.
I am a hacker, and this is my manifesto. You may stop this individual, but you can't stop us all... after all, we're all alike.+++The Mentor+++

School Gripes

2006-07-26T10:02:00.000-07:00

I was cleaning my room when I saw the cover of an old MAD Magazine lying there. The cover read: "35 Reasons School Sucks" That's like saying "35 Things Elton John has done to seem gay" It's just not enough! Anyway it got me to thinking of my least favorite thing about school, and I hit it. The "Zero-Tolerance Policy" "Zero-Tolerance" Meaning "Don't try to avoid a trip to the hospital, because that would mean you would still have to come here"

If you don't understand what I'm saying, let me deliberate: This "Policy" states that if you are involved in a fight, you will get in as much trouble as the offending party. Now, a) "Involved" can even mean "beat to a bloody, near-fatal pulp to the point where you hack up your own digestive tract" and b) The victim always gets in more trouble than the a-hole who collapsed your skull.

Example: One time, me and my friends were horsing around outside, when these little bastards walk up and beat the sh*t out of me. I tried to ask what I did, to no avail. They then proceded to bash my head against a tree and kick me in the back of the ankle. "Help!" I screamed, in PLAIN VIEW OF THE "MONITOR"!!!!!!!! They continued to spit on me, so I sprang up and tore the littler of the demons glasses off. Now I don't know if you know this, but this can be considered a "bad move"

After they ran off, the bell rang. Of course, I couldn't hear it, on account of all the blood blocking my ear canal. My friends ran back over to me and tried to help me up. By "my friends" I think it goes without saying that they were not the "friends" who ran off earlier.

When I got inside, I tried to tell my teacher, the bitch, what had occured. She sat and smiled pretending not to notice. So I ran over to the guy who tried to kill me and kicked him in the shin. His lackeys grabbed me and took turns whacking me in the balls.

Finally, I went to the principal (Fun fact!: He was also Principal and part time janitor at the high school next door!) and told him what happened. He didn't believe me because I have a "record" (many kids threw rocks at my head) So he called them in this was there excuse: "Well, those other kids were beating him up, and they were doing it wrong, so we were showing them how to do it."

Score: bullies:0 Principal:0 Me:1/2

That's right: they got 2 hours detention each! WOOHOO! Obviously, though, I got one hour, meaning three days. Let me explain: If you come in to detention 5 minutes late, and you do not play any sports, you have to spend an extra half an hour there, because you can't serve only five minutes in detention. Too simple you see. You have to serve at 30 minute intervals. SO... I finished that over the period of a week, and those bully jerks DROPPED OUT OF SCHOOL! Never saw 'em again.

So in closing, screw public education, screw bullies, etc. And if I ever catch you coughing up blood, your expelled!

Swords are fun!

2006-06-14T16:54:00.000-07:00

For your drug induced enjoyment, Stick-figure Comix!

"Kitty Fhtagn"

2006-06-13T16:39:00.000-07:00

Back by popular demand! GIANT KITTYS!!!

Stained glass portraits in the church of mom

2006-05-13T17:50:00.000-07:00

Bath-tap thing

2006-05-13T17:49:00.000-07:00

Microwave

2006-05-13T17:48:00.000-07:00

Dishwasher

Happy Mother's Day!

Welll...good luck with that...

2006-04-27T19:02:00.000-07:00

Ok, My friend is nice and all, but he's kind of, um.. delusional. I'll tell you what I mean:

He wants to start a video game company (mind you he doesn't know the difference between RAM and HD space) and open up a shop (being only 14 years old, he can't do ANY of this stuff) and sell his games. Then he will create a multi-national corporation, and rule the gaming world. I keep telling him that he can't do it, he doesn't get computers. He thinks programming ANYTHING is as easy as Gamemaker (www.gamemaker.nl)! This is rather alarming to a newbie programmer like me, who knows only enough c++ to fill up a business card. It's, dumb.
And he defies all logic I put before him! It sucks! But, I guess I'll let him dream until he implodes from lack of common sense. That's what happened to G.W. Bush when he proposed the tax cut for the rich.

WHAT?!?!?!?!

2006-04-14T15:20:00.000-07:00

Ok, I was supposed to post a game review here, but I'm too upset. Look at this article I found on Megagames' site (www.megagames.com):

"Study says gamers violent potheads

DescriptionNew research seems to suggest that violent video games make it more likely that players will engage in violent behavior and drug abuse than non-violent video games. A study carried out by Dr Sonya Brady, of the University of California San Francisco, and Professor Karen Matthews, of the University of Pittsburgh on 100 undergraduate males aged between 18 to 21 has revealed some interesting findings. Participants were asked to play a game that involved taking homework to school on time or another game featuring violent beatings with a baseball bat. Those who played the violent game were more likely to interpret the behavior of others towards them as hostile. You're kind of on the lookout for other people being rude to you, Dr Brady said. The same study also examined participant attitudes regarding marijuana and alcohol use and appears to suggest that the young men that played the violent game were more likely to consider the consumption of such drugs as acceptable. What this study suggests is that they might increase any type of risk-taking behaviour, said Dr. Brady. This study is not what you may consider definitive as the sample was small, participants did not try both games and we are not clear on what games were used and their real world relevance. The study does however, raise some interesting questions regarding the effect of gaming, questions which need to be addressed in similar studies and in fMRI (functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging) studies which may tell us exactly how gaming may affect brain chemistry."

Now, this type of thinking could mess with the gaming world forever! I won't stand for it! If you agree with this article, NEVER go near a Video store...Unless you like the taste of your own blood ("video games made me say that" heehee). So please help the gamers who aren't psychotic overdosers out and support the cause! Fight for your right! And by the way, who would play a game about getting your homework in on time?!

EDIT: check out this Penny arcade comic http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2006/04/12

Elmo Me Elmo II

2006-03-26T18:28:00.000-08:00

Lord of the Rings Elmo: Wanders around in circles for 3 hours.
Batteries aren't as good as the book

Non-existant Elmo
Batteries included

Over-priced Elmo: Costs over $200 and comes with a sesaeme Street label.
You don't wanna know

Dead Elmo: Get's really cold and stinks up the living room.
Batteries out of juice

ADD Elmo: Cute little Elmo tha......
Bat....

OCD Elmo: Don't touch him!!! YOU'RE INFECTED!!!!!!
Batteries must be touched 487 times to work

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

BTW: that new "profile picture" is from "Uru: To D'ni" Review in my next post.

Elmo Me Elmo

2006-03-25T13:29:00.000-08:00

I don't have much explanation for this post so, without further ado: Elmo dolls we will see in the near future.

Crackhead Elmo: Sits in a dark room scratching itself and screams when exposed to light.
batteries avalible at the street corner

Bob Dylan Elmo: Comes with with removable guitar and non-removable sunglasses; mumbles uncontrollably.
Batteries mmblbml mblmbl mlbml

LAPD Elmo: Wears cute little police uniform and screams at black guys.
Batteries charged with assault and batteries

George W. Bush Elmo: Giggles without a clear exit strategy
I really thought there were batteries of mass destruction

Wiretap Elmo: Used for finding terrorists
Batteries unwarrented

More Elmo madness to come!

Mystical burrito man, do the puppets with the CIA

2006-03-17T10:14:00.000-08:00

Woah, with all this wiretapping nonsense, me and my friend have laugin' our butts off! We had a long conversation over the phone yesterday about what it would be like if a guy from the CIA Was listening in to our conversations. We do not have normal senses of humor, but oh well. Anyway it starts with him laughing at our conversations. Then he was supposed to make a DVD of the conversations and set it to puppets (I liked the idea...) So then we started talking about Mexico, and he did a surfer dude impression and said: "Dude, when I like, got to Mexico, i'm going to get a burrito so I can talk to the locals" And I thought: "WTF! He's going to use a burrito as a translater?" So we examined what it would be like if the UN used food as translation devices. We the thought about the wiretapping man, and what he was doing. He was probably a burrito in disguise! So we asked the mystical burrito man if he could do something with the media, such as stop the stuff we don't like in it. So that filled up about 2 hours. So remember, next time you call someone on the phone, use your burrito and put the puppets down. *gasp* HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAH
AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHAAAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH
HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-03-01T07:44:00.000-08:00

This quote is meaningful to me because I've had to come up and/or use
many ideas to aid in my schooling, such as keeping me on my work.

Quote of the week

2006-02-20T16:06:00.000-08:00

I feel this quote is of importance because ignorance has corrupted much of the world. If people become ignorant to everything around them, they cannot handle the full aspect of reality.

KING KITTY!!!

2006-02-13T10:24:00.000-08:00

Ta-da! The king is here! Something I did in about 15 minutes. Notice the star of the film... Part 2 in my "cats that can stomp your ass to oblivion" series.

Whoring

2006-02-12T18:47:00.000-08:00

Preview of my next photoshop project:

It was cat-nip killed the beast

2006-01-31T15:44:00.000-08:00

I hate little girl's toys. That is not to say i'm sexist or anything, but I have to draw the line somewhere. Sure, they were cute at first, but now children are learning to be stupid, mean, slutty bimbos! It sickens me to think that big corporations are using their disgusting supply of smut to create a horrible generation. Case in point: On this episode of south park, Paris hilton came to town, and everybody freaked. When the child Wendy asked what she did, the other little girls responded with phrases like: "She's a mean spoiled brat" and "She has sex with lots of guys and tapes it". Anyway, on the show, she relaeased a toy called the "stupid spoiled whore video playset" And that's why i'm PO'd. The Barbie line of products releases a different camera toy every couple of years. Hmmm.... Also, the Bratz line gets my blood boiling. I was watching "The soup" on E and they had a quick spotlight on the Bratz TV show. After showing a clip, the host said "I have seen the future, and penicilen (that spelled right?) will be expensive" AAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Bottom line: What will the next generation of women act like? Probably like stupid spoiled whores.

2006-01-04T15:56:00.000-08:00

Happy birthday SME! Love ya!

Another!

2005-12-21T12:18:00.000-08:00

And we couldn't see the 'roid scandal coming...

I'm back!

2005-12-20T18:28:00.000-08:00

Wow long time no see, huh? Well I'm back with something cool to post. First in a series. My photoshop massacres. (NOTE: That's probably spelled wrong but I don't have a dikshunarie, LOL) Anyways here you go...My art! OK, so it's not the best but it's funny. Later!

LDing's media image

2005-10-31T14:23:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite things to do when I go to bed at night is attempt to become lucid (gain consious during a dream) in my sleep. But much to my dissmay, the media image of Lucid dreaming is one of two things: 1. It's voodoo and should be illegal...or...2. It's new-age psycho mumbo jumbo. I have done it many times now and can honestly say, this is all a big load. It is no more new-agey than your imagination. I do not know where they get this, but I think it's stupid. So lets try to sleep at night without thinking about a hippie witch-doctor saying he "has controllable visions".

Noooooooo!!!

2005-10-30T08:05:00.000-08:00

I recently hosted my first Brikwars (www.brikwars.com) battle with my friend, and it was a blast! If you look at the picture, my forces are the ones on the left, and that box used to be a hangar. Needless to say I lost, but I still laughed long and hard over one thing: The un-wholesome carnage. I had five men with their heads intact by the end of the game. I do not use violence as a solution to a situation in real life, nor am I a violent person. But watching my own medieval units getting mowed down by a bomb was too much fun. If you were there, you might have said the same thing. I looked through the body pile after the game and there were more arms than you could imagine! I laughed so hard I was nearly sick! Anyway the game was a blast. Two days later I'm still cleaning up this mess! But it was worth it, to watch my spaceship fly into a million pieces.

I'm (not) Rick James Bitch!

2005-10-25T19:03:00.000-07:00

Why the heck has everyone gone crazy over the cancellation of that steaming dog turd that is Chappelle's show? It was a horrible show and deserves it's place in TV hell. Okay, okay, so I did laugh at many of the sketches, but one got on my nerves. It was the episode with "Charlie Murphy's True Hollywood Stories". Murphy talked about his experiences with "super-freak" Rick James. The famous line where James stood up and punched Murphy Screaming "I'm Rick James bitch!" Everybody in North America was then also screaming "I'm Rick James bitch!" Which angers me because these people are, in fact, not Rick James. Every teenager in America was screaming it. Mothers were banning their kids from it. Demons were spawing from holes in the earth where people had said the line were standing. It took the nation by storm. I thought I had seen this somewhere before. All ofa sudden it hit me. Tickle-me-Elmo, The Macherana (hope I spelled that right), The Beatles (no offense), it was the same thing. And I know why this stuff had seemed important. Alien mind control. It is the only explation for something so stupid. They are trying to make us weak by making this junk seem powerful. They are planning to invade us after the next media storm, probably Kathy Lee coming back to television. Heed my warning.

Why Mr.Lieberman? Why?

2005-10-25T08:51:00.000-07:00

I have attached a photo of some well-selling games for the PS2. Can you tell me the relasionship between them? Katamari Damacy, Killzone, FFX, and R&C 3 all have one thing in common.

They are all fun.

The issue of violence in video games is useless. It is only another government scapegoat so they don't have to deal with the real issue, parenting today sucks. I know I am going to offend some people with this, but it's the truth. Parents don't pay any attention to their kids and don't give them any love, then the kids turn to GTA, Mortal Kombat, etc. to release their violent tendancies. Then they shoot up a Mcdondalds or a school. This is a touchy subject for some, but it's the truth.

BTW, I know I shouldn't be name-dropping so much, but it's hard not to.

Hello all!

2005-10-24T16:17:00.000-07:00

Hi, I am Z-kid. I am a homeschooled kid with Tourette's syndrome. I enjoy video games and many other constructive activites (litteraly!) such as legos, etc. I enjoy computers very much, mostly the tech. behind 'em. I don't know what to say yet but I do have one thing to say.

Why are we trying to bring democracy to Iraq?

I mean c'mon, they have been violent apes for thousands of years (no offense, LOL) and we try to change that simply to make them more like us? I don't believe all Iraqis are like that, I mean there must be one of them who stood up for womens rights (which ended up in a car-bomb), but the majority of the natives living there kill in the name of their god! Thank you for your time, and this concludes our brodcast day.