"The Idol O' Many Hands"

Everybody is pressuring kids my age to have idols. Knowing todays youth, it's some corrupt sports star or some daemonic emo-tard, so I thought I'd post some of MY idols here. Enjoy:

John Carmack: The ULTIMATE in geek dreamers! The man was held responsible for many school shootings (most notably the Columbine Massacre; along with Marilyn Manson, respectively), and revolutionized the way video games are made and played. It's hard to go through my video game collection and not find a copy of DOOM floating around. Or Quake, DOOM 2, etc...

Bill Gates: Cliche, I know. But the man created THE standardised OS, and he knows how to take over the world. I mean taking over Bungie, and making Halo 2 PC a Vista exclusive. C'mon!

Tony Hawk: The guy's almost 50 and he's still boarding? F***! I can't believe that he has seen the entire history of skateboarding! From the start, back in good ol' (I use the phrase loosely) LA, to the emo-punk uprising, he's lived through it all. Plus he advocates safety; big plus.

Steve Jobs: "So bill, how was your weekend?" "Oh, you know, making people think your my sworn nemesis, so that we can launch an unexpected joint coup on the world" "Myes" "Indeed"

John Hargrave: The KING of dot-comedy. He's hosted late night tech-comedy shows, and he can certainly make a credit card company think twice about sending him a card. What? You've never heard of him? No matter! www.zug.com There ya go!

I got keys...

...keys to what you might ask? A car? A lockbox? Ney. A computer. Let me explain: While working on my computer recently, it fried. BAM!, gone. And guess what my mom's solution was. Get my dad a new Alienware computer, and give me the old one.

I had to sit down.

An Alienware!? I felt dizzy. It was so cool! So today I gathered all my system disks, and...The coup-de-grad (is that how it's spelled)... the keys to the computers front lock. I can't describe how amazing they felt in my hands. I still don't believe it.

I'm going to cut this short, since I'm out of one-liners, euphamisms, and metaphors. Later.

"Codybag"

My friend C and I are trying to start an internet craze. Use this as an insult. Spread it around.

Took me long enough...

\/\/007! My new case is a reality!

Case! Case! Case!

Guess what? My new computer case got here today! It even has a side fan and window!
Unfortunately, the front panel reminds me of Megatron. But it also has 2 front USB ports, so it doesn't matter. It looks so...empty! Cool!

http://sntcomic.livejournal.com/

My new webcomic. 'Nuff said.

1337 h4x0r m4573r

http://www.cs.berkeley.edu/~bh/hacker.html
This man is a genius. I am so tired of major news networks f***ing around with the term "Hacker". A Hacker is someone who makes computers his passion, who knows all about them. Please take this seriously. Even my own mother doesn't get it. She won't even listen to me about it.

Don't listen to CNN, or Fox News. They're out to boost they're ratings. All you know is lies. Have some god-damded respect for these people. If you don't understand, shut-up. If you don't want to know, shut-up.

Let's try a little roleplaying: Let's simulate life without hackers. Unplug your modem. Turn off your monitor. Walk away from the computer. They own the net. As I speak your among them. Hundreds. Thousands.

Learn from me. Pass this knowledge on. Don't be a f001.


The following was written shortly after my arrest...
\/\The Conscience of a Hacker/\/
by
+++The Mentor+++
Written on January 8, 1986=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Another one got caught today, it's all over the papers. "Teenager Arrested in Computer Crime Scandal", "Hacker Arrested after Bank Tampering"...
Damn kids. They're all alike.
But did you, in your three-piece psychology and 1950's technobrain, ever take a look behind the eyes of the hacker? Did you ever wonder what made him tick, what forces shaped him, what may have molded him?
I am a hacker, enter my world...
Mine is a world that begins with school... I'm smarter than most of the other kids, this crap they teach us bores me...
Damn underachiever. They're all alike.
I'm in junior high or high school. I've listened to teachers explain for the fifteenth time how to reduce a fraction. I understand it. "No, Ms. Smith, I didn't show my work. I did it in my head..."
Damn kid. Probably copied it. They're all alike.
I made a discovery today. I found a computer. Wait a second, this is cool. It does what I want it to. If it makes a mistake, it's because I screwed it up. Not because it doesn't like me...Or feels threatened by me...Or thinks I'm a smart ass...Or doesn't like teaching and shouldn't be here...
Damn kid. All he does is play games. They're all alike.
And then it happened... a door opened to a world... rushing through the phone line like heroin through an addict's veins, an electronic pulse is sent out, a refuge from the day-to-day incompetencies is sought... a board is found. "This is it... this is where I belong..."
I know everyone here... even if I've never met them, never talked to them, may never hear from them again... I know you all...
Damn kid. Tying up the phone line again. They're all alike...
You bet your ass we're all alike... we've been spoon-fed baby food at school when we hungered for steak... the bits of meat that you did let slip through were pre-chewed and tasteless. We've been dominated by sadists, or ignored by the apathetic. The few that had something to teach found us willing pupils, but those few are like drops of water in the desert.
This is our world now... the world of the electron and the switch, the beauty of the baud. We make use of a service already existing without paying for what could be dirt-cheap if it wasn't run by profiteering gluttons, and you call us criminals.We explore... and you call us criminals.We seek after knowledge... and you call us criminals.We exist without skin color, without nationality, withoutreligious bias... and you call us criminals.You build atomic bombs, you wage wars, you murder, cheat, and lie to us and try to make us believe it's for our own good, yet we're the criminals.
Yes, I am a criminal. My crime is that of curiosity. My crime is that of judging people by what they say and think, not what they look like. My crime is that of outsmarting you, something that you will never forgive me for.
I am a hacker, and this is my manifesto. You may stop this individual, but you can't stop us all... after all, we're all alike.+++The Mentor+++

School Gripes

I was cleaning my room when I saw the cover of an old MAD Magazine lying there. The cover read: "35 Reasons School Sucks" That's like saying "35 Things Elton John has done to seem gay" It's just not enough! Anyway it got me to thinking of my least favorite thing about school, and I hit it. The "Zero-Tolerance Policy" "Zero-Tolerance" Meaning "Don't try to avoid a trip to the hospital, because that would mean you would still have to come here"

If you don't understand what I'm saying, let me deliberate: This "Policy" states that if you are involved in a fight, you will get in as much trouble as the offending party. Now, a) "Involved" can even mean "beat to a bloody, near-fatal pulp to the point where you hack up your own digestive tract" and b) The victim always gets in more trouble than the a-hole who collapsed your skull.

Example: One time, me and my friends were horsing around outside, when these little bastards walk up and beat the sh*t out of me. I tried to ask what I did, to no avail. They then proceded to bash my head against a tree and kick me in the back of the ankle. "Help!" I screamed, in PLAIN VIEW OF THE "MONITOR"!!!!!!!! They continued to spit on me, so I sprang up and tore the littler of the demons glasses off. Now I don't know if you know this, but this can be considered a "bad move"

After they ran off, the bell rang. Of course, I couldn't hear it, on account of all the blood blocking my ear canal. My friends ran back over to me and tried to help me up. By "my friends" I think it goes without saying that they were not the "friends" who ran off earlier.

When I got inside, I tried to tell my teacher, the bitch, what had occured. She sat and smiled pretending not to notice. So I ran over to the guy who tried to kill me and kicked him in the shin. His lackeys grabbed me and took turns whacking me in the balls.

Finally, I went to the principal (Fun fact!: He was also Principal and part time janitor at the high school next door!) and told him what happened. He didn't believe me because I have a "record" (many kids threw rocks at my head) So he called them in this was there excuse: "Well, those other kids were beating him up, and they were doing it wrong, so we were showing them how to do it."

Score: bullies:0 Principal:0 Me:1/2

That's right: they got 2 hours detention each! WOOHOO! Obviously, though, I got one hour, meaning three days. Let me explain: If you come in to detention 5 minutes late, and you do not play any sports, you have to spend an extra half an hour there, because you can't serve only five minutes in detention. Too simple you see. You have to serve at 30 minute intervals. SO... I finished that over the period of a week, and those bully jerks DROPPED OUT OF SCHOOL! Never saw 'em again.

So in closing, screw public education, screw bullies, etc. And if I ever catch you coughing up blood, your expelled!