Happy Turkey Day!

...Well, not for the turkey...

"The Idol O' Many Hands"

Everybody is pressuring kids my age to have idols. Knowing todays youth, it's some corrupt sports star or some daemonic emo-tard, so I thought I'd post some of MY idols here. Enjoy:

John Carmack: The ULTIMATE in geek dreamers! The man was held responsible for many school shootings (most notably the Columbine Massacre; along with Marilyn Manson, respectively), and revolutionized the way video games are made and played. It's hard to go through my video game collection and not find a copy of DOOM floating around. Or Quake, DOOM 2, etc...

Bill Gates: Cliche, I know. But the man created THE standardised OS, and he knows how to take over the world. I mean taking over Bungie, and making Halo 2 PC a Vista exclusive. C'mon!

Tony Hawk: The guy's almost 50 and he's still boarding? F***! I can't believe that he has seen the entire history of skateboarding! From the start, back in good ol' (I use the phrase loosely) LA, to the emo-punk uprising, he's lived through it all. Plus he advocates safety; big plus.

Steve Jobs: "So bill, how was your weekend?" "Oh, you know, making people think your my sworn nemesis, so that we can launch an unexpected joint coup on the world" "Myes" "Indeed"

John Hargrave: The KING of dot-comedy. He's hosted late night tech-comedy shows, and he can certainly make a credit card company think twice about sending him a card. What? You've never heard of him? No matter! www.zug.com There ya go!

I got keys...

...keys to what you might ask? A car? A lockbox? Ney. A computer. Let me explain: While working on my computer recently, it fried. BAM!, gone. And guess what my mom's solution was. Get my dad a new Alienware computer, and give me the old one.

I had to sit down.

An Alienware!? I felt dizzy. It was so cool! So today I gathered all my system disks, and...The coup-de-grad (is that how it's spelled)... the keys to the computers front lock. I can't describe how amazing they felt in my hands. I still don't believe it.

I'm going to cut this short, since I'm out of one-liners, euphamisms, and metaphors. Later.

"Codybag"

My friend C and I are trying to start an internet craze. Use this as an insult. Spread it around.

Took me long enough...

\/\/007! My new case is a reality!

Case! Case! Case!

Guess what? My new computer case got here today! It even has a side fan and window!
Unfortunately, the front panel reminds me of Megatron. But it also has 2 front USB ports, so it doesn't matter. It looks so...empty! Cool!

http://sntcomic.livejournal.com/

My new webcomic. 'Nuff said.

1337 h4x0r m4573r

http://www.cs.berkeley.edu/~bh/hacker.html
This man is a genius. I am so tired of major news networks f***ing around with the term "Hacker". A Hacker is someone who makes computers his passion, who knows all about them. Please take this seriously. Even my own mother doesn't get it. She won't even listen to me about it.

Don't listen to CNN, or Fox News. They're out to boost they're ratings. All you know is lies. Have some god-damded respect for these people. If you don't understand, shut-up. If you don't want to know, shut-up.

Let's try a little roleplaying: Let's simulate life without hackers. Unplug your modem. Turn off your monitor. Walk away from the computer. They own the net. As I speak your among them. Hundreds. Thousands.

Learn from me. Pass this knowledge on. Don't be a f001.


The following was written shortly after my arrest...
\/\The Conscience of a Hacker/\/
by
+++The Mentor+++
Written on January 8, 1986=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Another one got caught today, it's all over the papers. "Teenager Arrested in Computer Crime Scandal", "Hacker Arrested after Bank Tampering"...
Damn kids. They're all alike.
But did you, in your three-piece psychology and 1950's technobrain, ever take a look behind the eyes of the hacker? Did you ever wonder what made him tick, what forces shaped him, what may have molded him?
I am a hacker, enter my world...
Mine is a world that begins with school... I'm smarter than most of the other kids, this crap they teach us bores me...
Damn underachiever. They're all alike.
I'm in junior high or high school. I've listened to teachers explain for the fifteenth time how to reduce a fraction. I understand it. "No, Ms. Smith, I didn't show my work. I did it in my head..."
Damn kid. Probably copied it. They're all alike.
I made a discovery today. I found a computer. Wait a second, this is cool. It does what I want it to. If it makes a mistake, it's because I screwed it up. Not because it doesn't like me...Or feels threatened by me...Or thinks I'm a smart ass...Or doesn't like teaching and shouldn't be here...
Damn kid. All he does is play games. They're all alike.
And then it happened... a door opened to a world... rushing through the phone line like heroin through an addict's veins, an electronic pulse is sent out, a refuge from the day-to-day incompetencies is sought... a board is found. "This is it... this is where I belong..."
I know everyone here... even if I've never met them, never talked to them, may never hear from them again... I know you all...
Damn kid. Tying up the phone line again. They're all alike...
You bet your ass we're all alike... we've been spoon-fed baby food at school when we hungered for steak... the bits of meat that you did let slip through were pre-chewed and tasteless. We've been dominated by sadists, or ignored by the apathetic. The few that had something to teach found us willing pupils, but those few are like drops of water in the desert.
This is our world now... the world of the electron and the switch, the beauty of the baud. We make use of a service already existing without paying for what could be dirt-cheap if it wasn't run by profiteering gluttons, and you call us criminals.We explore... and you call us criminals.We seek after knowledge... and you call us criminals.We exist without skin color, without nationality, withoutreligious bias... and you call us criminals.You build atomic bombs, you wage wars, you murder, cheat, and lie to us and try to make us believe it's for our own good, yet we're the criminals.
Yes, I am a criminal. My crime is that of curiosity. My crime is that of judging people by what they say and think, not what they look like. My crime is that of outsmarting you, something that you will never forgive me for.
I am a hacker, and this is my manifesto. You may stop this individual, but you can't stop us all... after all, we're all alike.+++The Mentor+++

School Gripes

I was cleaning my room when I saw the cover of an old MAD Magazine lying there. The cover read: "35 Reasons School Sucks" That's like saying "35 Things Elton John has done to seem gay" It's just not enough! Anyway it got me to thinking of my least favorite thing about school, and I hit it. The "Zero-Tolerance Policy" "Zero-Tolerance" Meaning "Don't try to avoid a trip to the hospital, because that would mean you would still have to come here"

If you don't understand what I'm saying, let me deliberate: This "Policy" states that if you are involved in a fight, you will get in as much trouble as the offending party. Now, a) "Involved" can even mean "beat to a bloody, near-fatal pulp to the point where you hack up your own digestive tract" and b) The victim always gets in more trouble than the a-hole who collapsed your skull.

Example: One time, me and my friends were horsing around outside, when these little bastards walk up and beat the sh*t out of me. I tried to ask what I did, to no avail. They then proceded to bash my head against a tree and kick me in the back of the ankle. "Help!" I screamed, in PLAIN VIEW OF THE "MONITOR"!!!!!!!! They continued to spit on me, so I sprang up and tore the littler of the demons glasses off. Now I don't know if you know this, but this can be considered a "bad move"

After they ran off, the bell rang. Of course, I couldn't hear it, on account of all the blood blocking my ear canal. My friends ran back over to me and tried to help me up. By "my friends" I think it goes without saying that they were not the "friends" who ran off earlier.

When I got inside, I tried to tell my teacher, the bitch, what had occured. She sat and smiled pretending not to notice. So I ran over to the guy who tried to kill me and kicked him in the shin. His lackeys grabbed me and took turns whacking me in the balls.

Finally, I went to the principal (Fun fact!: He was also Principal and part time janitor at the high school next door!) and told him what happened. He didn't believe me because I have a "record" (many kids threw rocks at my head) So he called them in this was there excuse: "Well, those other kids were beating him up, and they were doing it wrong, so we were showing them how to do it."

Score: bullies:0 Principal:0 Me:1/2

That's right: they got 2 hours detention each! WOOHOO! Obviously, though, I got one hour, meaning three days. Let me explain: If you come in to detention 5 minutes late, and you do not play any sports, you have to spend an extra half an hour there, because you can't serve only five minutes in detention. Too simple you see. You have to serve at 30 minute intervals. SO... I finished that over the period of a week, and those bully jerks DROPPED OUT OF SCHOOL! Never saw 'em again.

So in closing, screw public education, screw bullies, etc. And if I ever catch you coughing up blood, your expelled!

Swords are fun!

For your drug induced enjoyment, Stick-figure Comix!

"Kitty Fhtagn"

Back by popular demand! GIANT KITTYS!!!

Stained glass portraits in the church of mom

Bath-tap thing

Microwave

Dishwasher

Happy Mother's Day!

Welll...good luck with that...

Ok, My friend is nice and all, but he's kind of, um.. delusional. I'll tell you what I mean:

He wants to start a video game company (mind you he doesn't know the difference between RAM and HD space) and open up a shop (being only 14 years old, he can't do ANY of this stuff) and sell his games. Then he will create a multi-national corporation, and rule the gaming world. I keep telling him that he can't do it, he doesn't get computers. He thinks programming ANYTHING is as easy as Gamemaker (www.gamemaker.nl)! This is rather alarming to a newbie programmer like me, who knows only enough c++ to fill up a business card. It's, dumb.
And he defies all logic I put before him! It sucks! But, I guess I'll let him dream until he implodes from lack of common sense. That's what happened to G.W. Bush when he proposed the tax cut for the rich.

WHAT?!?!?!?!

Ok, I was supposed to post a game review here, but I'm too upset. Look at this article I found on Megagames' site (www.megagames.com):

"Study says gamers violent potheads

DescriptionNew research seems to suggest that violent video games make it more likely that players will engage in violent behavior and drug abuse than non-violent video games. A study carried out by Dr Sonya Brady, of the University of California San Francisco, and Professor Karen Matthews, of the University of Pittsburgh on 100 undergraduate males aged between 18 to 21 has revealed some interesting findings. Participants were asked to play a game that involved taking homework to school on time or another game featuring violent beatings with a baseball bat. Those who played the violent game were more likely to interpret the behavior of others towards them as hostile. You're kind of on the lookout for other people being rude to you, Dr Brady said. The same study also examined participant attitudes regarding marijuana and alcohol use and appears to suggest that the young men that played the violent game were more likely to consider the consumption of such drugs as acceptable. What this study suggests is that they might increase any type of risk-taking behaviour, said Dr. Brady. This study is not what you may consider definitive as the sample was small, participants did not try both games and we are not clear on what games were used and their real world relevance. The study does however, raise some interesting questions regarding the effect of gaming, questions which need to be addressed in similar studies and in fMRI (functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging) studies which may tell us exactly how gaming may affect brain chemistry."

Now, this type of thinking could mess with the gaming world forever! I won't stand for it! If you agree with this article, NEVER go near a Video store...Unless you like the taste of your own blood ("video games made me say that" heehee). So please help the gamers who aren't psychotic overdosers out and support the cause! Fight for your right! And by the way, who would play a game about getting your homework in on time?!

EDIT: check out this Penny arcade comic http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2006/04/12

Elmo Me Elmo II

Lord of the Rings Elmo: Wanders around in circles for 3 hours.
Batteries aren't as good as the book

Non-existant Elmo
Batteries included

Over-priced Elmo: Costs over $200 and comes with a sesaeme Street label.
You don't wanna know

Dead Elmo: Get's really cold and stinks up the living room.
Batteries out of juice

ADD Elmo: Cute little Elmo tha......
Bat....

OCD Elmo: Don't touch him!!! YOU'RE INFECTED!!!!!!
Batteries must be touched 487 times to work

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

BTW: that new "profile picture" is from "Uru: To D'ni" Review in my next post.

Elmo Me Elmo

I don't have much explanation for this post so, without further ado: Elmo dolls we will see in the near future.

Crackhead Elmo: Sits in a dark room scratching itself and screams when exposed to light.
batteries avalible at the street corner

Bob Dylan Elmo: Comes with with removable guitar and non-removable sunglasses; mumbles uncontrollably.
Batteries mmblbml mblmbl mlbml

LAPD Elmo: Wears cute little police uniform and screams at black guys.
Batteries charged with assault and batteries

George W. Bush Elmo: Giggles without a clear exit strategy
I really thought there were batteries of mass destruction

Wiretap Elmo: Used for finding terrorists
Batteries unwarrented

More Elmo madness to come!

Mystical burrito man, do the puppets with the CIA

Woah, with all this wiretapping nonsense, me and my friend have laugin' our butts off! We had a long conversation over the phone yesterday about what it would be like if a guy from the CIA Was listening in to our conversations. We do not have normal senses of humor, but oh well. Anyway it starts with him laughing at our conversations. Then he was supposed to make a DVD of the conversations and set it to puppets (I liked the idea...) So then we started talking about Mexico, and he did a surfer dude impression and said: "Dude, when I like, got to Mexico, i'm going to get a burrito so I can talk to the locals" And I thought: "WTF! He's going to use a burrito as a translater?" So we examined what it would be like if the UN used food as translation devices. We the thought about the wiretapping man, and what he was doing. He was probably a burrito in disguise! So we asked the mystical burrito man if he could do something with the media, such as stop the stuff we don't like in it. So that filled up about 2 hours. So remember, next time you call someone on the phone, use your burrito and put the puppets down. *gasp* HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAH
AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHAAAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH
HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This quote is meaningful to me because I've had to come up and/or use
many ideas to aid in my schooling, such as keeping me on my work.

Quote of the week

I feel this quote is of importance because ignorance has corrupted much of the world. If people become ignorant to everything around them, they cannot handle the full aspect of reality.

KING KITTY!!!

Ta-da! The king is here! Something I did in about 15 minutes. Notice the star of the film... Part 2 in my "cats that can stomp your ass to oblivion" series.

Whoring

Preview of my next photoshop project:

It was cat-nip killed the beast

I hate little girl's toys. That is not to say i'm sexist or anything, but I have to draw the line somewhere. Sure, they were cute at first, but now children are learning to be stupid, mean, slutty bimbos! It sickens me to think that big corporations are using their disgusting supply of smut to create a horrible generation. Case in point: On this episode of south park, Paris hilton came to town, and everybody freaked. When the child Wendy asked what she did, the other little girls responded with phrases like: "She's a mean spoiled brat" and "She has sex with lots of guys and tapes it". Anyway, on the show, she relaeased a toy called the "stupid spoiled whore video playset" And that's why i'm PO'd. The Barbie line of products releases a different camera toy every couple of years. Hmmm.... Also, the Bratz line gets my blood boiling. I was watching "The soup" on E and they had a quick spotlight on the Bratz TV show. After showing a clip, the host said "I have seen the future, and penicilen (that spelled right?) will be expensive" AAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Bottom line: What will the next generation of women act like? Probably like stupid spoiled whores.

Happy birthday SME! Love ya!